Be Live Be Alive

https://instaud.io/2aVI : Be Live, Be Alive

On May 12 yesterday my dancer girls have performed their dances. They were satisfied and proud. The result quite good. Small incident that occurred on stage not shake them mentally. I very grateful.

Their moms also proud of their appearance. The teachers who watched were satisfied and praised. All who watched the show also happy. So I could be complacent. But that's not what I want to write down here.

It's been a while since I've been hanging out with ordinary people -moms- for example. I used to work. My association was only with my underling and my boss or my higher bosses. Just so-so. My liegeman wieldy and biddable, all my boss loved me. So there no surprise about relationship. If anything then catched my attention usually just their stories in their relationship with their family or neighbours. I alone in my neighbourhood, not hanging out with my neighbours. My environment ground is quiet. Actually, my home is in vicinal area of state officials, but now many home have turned hand to rich people whose home are huge but no one inhabit. There are only a few old house - including my house - that there always who inhabit. I often think if I shouted inside my house, my neighbour would not heard. That's why I rarely open the door. And I've had bad experience about people who visit my house but I not really knew. Just because my house quiet, my environment quiet, uh ... then come bad thoughts to him. He just a store coolie where I bought gas and asked to deliver to my house, and already several time did the deliver. So actually I familiar enough with him. But it may also made him 'know enough' about my quiet environment, about my empty house. Well, I was getting ready to run away at that time, hehehe .... better be run then only God knew. Since then I choose to close my door. I open only when there who practice dancing or yogasana at my house.

So a month training this girls made me a little more connected with their parents who diligently waiting for their daughters practiced in my house. I who not know them at first, slowly knew and understand them. I was very careful at first it made me look incapable of enforcing discipline on their daughter, ending up being me who arranged everything including their parents.

But, above all I just see 'the common people'.

I discussed my experience with my guru. And made me once again see myself. Understand how I reacted to people I not know yet. How I acted on people I not know well but arbitrarily with me. See how human generally behave. See the behavior of my society in general today with all the circumstances and situations of my country which like this.

 'There are those who pamper children too much, there who always want their kids to be number one, some not even bother about the needs of their kid but want their kid to be good, there who want always be praised as a great parent. There who forced people to pay attention only for them. Help God ......’

I myself --as long as it not bother me, I just let it. Or I leave immediately if I not like it. But if it bothered me, I opposite-argue them. Weather I knew them or not. I also surprised to see myself. I never as frontal-upfront as now. Now by the slang term they would say, 'touch me I slice bar you!' Ha .. ha .. ha ....

But I know the reason for my ‘not modest’ attitude. I not want to be insulted. Only people today are so easily insulted simply because they think they rich, or smart or have power etc etc ...' . They not even knew me, but so easy arbitraried me. Really disrespectful. So there's no reason for me to be polite, either. So 'touch me I would  slice bar you!. Hehehe…

I just look at human. And amused, annoyed, jumpy crazy, but also happy because I could in relation again with people even with some who really ‘out of sane’. I just enjoyed it. But of course my discussion with my guru about this are deeper than what I could wrote down here.

What I want to say here is that I feel live once again. I very happy and grateful. Tired too. But life is like that, right?  Wearisome but pleasure. Make you annoyed and mad but miss it. Scary but exciting. 

That's called; life.

So, be live. Be alive.