Saturday, April 21, 2018

Why In English ?


My last writings in this blog use English. This invited question from several people. What's wrong with me now, why suddenly I so 'English'?

To be frankly  there is no reason why. More just my way of practicing speaking in English only. As I write more and more in English, the easier I speak in English. And that's because of my relationship with some friend who always speak English to me because they not speak Bahasa Indonesia. And they also want to enjoy read my writings. So I figured that on this blog let it start now in English. For me, for my friends, and for lot of people out there who would probably understand better what I write when I write it in English.

So it's not for haughty or for special purpose. What do you think my purpose is ??

But, my English also unusual. My oldest son now taught at the International School which use the Cambridge curriculum, so use English as confer talk. But he complained about my English. He said my English not true, either grammar or tenses. I nodded. It is true if he said so if my English compared with English used today. But still I answered, "But lovely, right ..?" My son was stunned heard my answer. He tongue-tied for a moment while reading some of my writing. Finally I told him to read also the old English literature. I not know if he done yet.

Another friend also commented, "... ..your English as a nineteenth-century English nobleman". Heh ... .. he so true. I also surprised. I watched "Sense And Sensibility" movie, I read the old literature like "Emma" and "Pride And Prejudice", well .. indeed I think my English either they are the same. I only feel by this way, a word would so much more lovely and more elegant used than if it used now with the composition of the language as it is known today.

Others commented, "You've changed a lot now. You’re just like CEO ". And this one really stunned me. But I dare say that I a system expert who had have experience directly involved in running the company's operation, also often prepare other informal activities. I dare say, "I a system expert". But inevitably, the comment made me reread some of my last writings.

I'm not one who always read my writing after it done. Many time because I not have time to read again. Usually I write, published. Done. Or I write, I send. Done. Somewhile I write, I save. Done. So I also feel a bit surprised to see the way I conveyed and seen things now which wider and deeper. I guess that's because in the last 7 year I have not stopped constantly struggling with my own life in time I live a monastic life. It seemed this experience deepen and sharpen my way of looking at things.
I also now have incredible friends so I became amazing too quickly. I very adaptive and always curious, so right now it's like I in the right catalyst to develop. It made me go very fast.

10 year ago I never imagine I could produce nearly 100 title song, with a variety of genre and language. I write songs in Bahasa Indonesia, English, Italian, Sanskrt, Chinese and Arabic! It was impossible for me, for the sake. But true. I made my own song, some time even finished less than 10 minute.
10 year ago I also never imagined that I could dance Malay dance, Dayaknese dance, Balinese dance, kathak dance (Indian), and all kind of social dances like tango, salsa, waltz ... .could not pictured it out. Imposible! But now I've become a dance instructor and produced some dances I've created myself.

So, true I've changed a lot in the last 7 year.

In the last few day I've been writing every day one topic a day. You know why ? Because I on the ground of 10 year never had chance to write like this. In my period of learning, in my monastic life, I did wrote. But I only wrote my lesson. Not my favorite one. Not with my way of writing. This is my way of writing. Like this. Not too polite, but persuasive and very sharp.

Now that I have my freedom again, this is what I want to do most. It seemed after almost 10 year of not writing, - ideas, pictures of feeling, hope, urge eagerness and words clustered in my head waiting for time and opportunity to pour. It make me very productive. If I could just write, maybe I write 24 hour a day. But I still have to take care of my housewifery, still have to teach .. so I contented if I could do one script a day.

In the past ... long ago….in year around 2005-2006 I also like this. Write every day. And still had time to paint, also explored to various places which attracted my attention. I tomboy enough for exploring thing though I really fainthearted, contemptible and so on and so forth --really not a typical of explorer. But still I do, with complete preparation to keep me safe from injuries, keep me clean not got dirty, keep me safe from unpleasant things that I could still estimate etc. 

I not know how long I would write intense like this. Maybe a month, three month, or I might able to do it continuously on a regular basis. I have a dream to be a columnist in the Guardian or Tribune Daily. I a bit embarrassed to think about it. It's been long enough for this dream to be buried. I just remember yesterday, after I wrote about being a consultant. I talked to my friend late that night and remembered of my dream. Well ... .. I hope one day I could achieved. 

But, I need to practice to write again. There a time in the last 7 year I feel my mind deadlocked, unable to think again. So writing marathon like this would be my training to able to think again. Especially think analytically and try to re-diligently do research once again. I actually trying to finish a paper, but it delayed because my desire to write are so great right now. I hope I soon have time to accomplished it. 

So why use English? Because of necessity. Because I like. 

By the way one of my friend only understand English, but speak Italian only to me. That's what allowed me to make song in Italian as well. He helped correct the composition of the language. And he also encouraged me to learn Italian to communicate easily with him. 

The things go this way for the song in Arabic, or Chinese or any other language I not known such as Sanskrt. I was helped by my friends. All verses or poetry meant to be translated again I always write in English, - even song. Then they helped me correct the translation in what language, so that the meaning remained the same as I mean. You can see, this is where English become medium for me to communicate with my friends. 

I think I’ve been answered now the question as written in the title of this writing. I hope no one else would doubt me or questioned my motivation about it. 


Ciaao

PS:
My Italian friend very happy every time I write this greeting as a closing word. He said it is good greeting, which would make me want to keep writing again because the meaning of the greeting made me could meet my reader again. So once again; ciaao.

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