Dare To Dream

https://instaud.io/2ghP : dare to dream

Today I talked to myself in the shadows and thought about what I dreamed of a man I called my husband. I sometimes feel like I'm going to run away when I think of something like this. Any idea? Because this is something I hardly ever think about, because I not have time to think about it either because I not want to think about it. Not have time because I almost always busy working and not want to think about it because I .... I afraid. I afraid being disappointed. Disappointed if what I get later is not what I dreamed of. Instead of being disappointed I'd better not dream of anything, so no possibility of disappointment might happen.

I was actually shocked after realizing why I not want to dream about this. I just realized, can only seen it this morning. Usually I just say I not dare to dream. But not dare truly different from afraid. Not dare just think that it is out of my league. It's an imposible thing to happen in my life. But afraid --meaning I not prepared for the disappointment associated with it. Ooh ... it turns out I afraid of being disappointed.

I did get a lot of disappointment in my life. In my few birth in all my life, that's all I passed through. It seemed had made me a hopeless person in life. One thing that still remained just a spirit to living . Spirit that made me still able to keep hopes in my heart, still be whenever disappointment born. I once thought I was a hopeless person. I was wrong. The truth is I are one who always had spirit. Only spirit that I have that make me able to survive the disappointment of life in all my life. But apparently not enough to make me dare to have dreams in this life.

Wow ... I'm surprised. I not think that this simple question triggered such a deep understanding to me. I can not even realize it all this time. I think I'm fine. I accept my life with all its up and down on the way. I not think I was a person who could not dream anymore. But I've realized it now. So okay then. I want to dream now. I want to dream this morning.

I dream of a good husband. In a sense to his wife he always gentle and caring. Always affectionate and loving. Always want to understand and listen. Always patient and full of appreciation. I dream of a man who responsible, have integrity, pride, brave, and have a clear deportment and manner. I dreamed of a mature, wise husband who understand and comprehend life and living. I dream of a husband who love me and accept me for whole.

I think that's what I dreamed of. I'm just wondering if that's what I dream of a husband what might he dream of what he called a wife?

Perhap he would dream of a woman who always gentle and caring also to him. Always affectionate and loving. Always want to understand and listen. Always patient and full of appreciation. A woman who knew what she want but not demanded him more than what he could give. A woman who always be honoured and could make herself the best. And a woman who always fondle, amused and cheered up his heart. I think that’s all. I hope it's true.

I wish I could be such a wife for this kind of husband. Well ... . I ask God for it could happened to me. May His Will be like this.

Ah ... I dare to dream about this now. I'm grateful  I still capable of dreaming.