Song Of Mine

https://instaud.io/27Bq : shadeefawadyara

https://instaud.io/27BB : shadeemani

https://instaud.io/27BD : shadeeari

https://instaud.io/27BF : shadeerama

About two week ago I found out that my guru are an Arab gentleman. I think I wrote it some time ago in my other story. I also said that I stand sued him because of this, because it not make sense to me that a Hindu learned with an Arab. But my guru showed me the story of Mahaguru Baba Nanak. After reading the story of Baba Nanak then I could be calm and accepted heart whole my circumstances.

At that time I was actually told by my guru to make offering song for him and for my guide leader – there 4 of them - which would be the final marker of my ascetic learning. So there be 4 song which I finished in 1 day only. Only 4 song because 2 of my guide leader in the nearest I offered in 1 song. But it evident fall was only the first step. Because after that my guru made me saw the truth of him. And the fact that he an Arab gentleman (which in my mind mean Islam) made it difficult for me to accept him as my guru.

So after struggled to accept by passed through all the test he gave and once again have to feel the difficulty I had experience during my learning before, I finally accepted this reality. But that's not enough. My guru asked me again to make my 4 song for him become a song in Arabic and must be finished also in one day.

I very surprised. I not even speak Arabic. But my guru told me that he would adduced the right and correct word for my song, if I obey him. I can use my google translate for my initial translation, and my guru would correct it. That's what I did. And my guru really showed me how the one sentence should be written so that its meaning are the same as the song I made in Bahasa Indonesia, but the verse could still beautiful. I made my songs in the old Melayu poetry verses, so it have to translated in the same 'color and hue'.

And I satisfied, because I feel the result really have the same 'taste'. My guru indeed great. It must difficult to translate the verse full of figurative and metaphor in order to have the same meaning. Just for me this translation is written in Latin letters, I need help to write it in Arabic letters too. I still not know who would able to help me.

There are 4 of my song, all titled 'shadee …...' And I could not tell why the title should be so. Only my belief and faith in my guru keeped me writing that so title. So here's the ‘shadeerama, shadeeari, shadeemani and shadeefawadyara’.

By writing here I had been said that I accepted my cirumstances which I have an Arab guru.

I'm still waiting for Jhan to come, they promise to help me make its music. Still I have to remembered and recorded it this way. This is it.

SHADEERAMA ( 7 April  2018) Lembut angin berdesir Membuaiku dalam kerinduan Sapu gerimis pergi Terang hariku terang Kubahagia kini Kusambut bahagiaku kini Tangan erat menggenggam Hangat dalam dekapan Jantung hatiku disini Nyalakan api pengharapan Kenangan jadi kenyataan Hatiku syahdu mengenang Hidupku menjelang Peluk diriku ini Kayuh bidukku menuju lautan Peluk diriku kini Bersama layari lautan melody Lautan : kehidupan Syahdu : rindu menanti

SHADEERAMA (2018, mayu 2) saae|b sariqat hawa ahdiani tabqini fi alshuβw_qa rash radhadh_ baydana suβtu yawamay mushriq_ sayaae|d li alan fi alkha∞(i)ree 'arhab_ bilihyati alan yaduha bi'ihkam dafi fi aldhiraae|n huβbuβn qa∞lbi huna 'udi' shulat min al'ra∞ghba aldhikriat tatahaqaq qa∞lbi yatadhakar_ hayati qadima ay_di hayyan li hudha alkhama 'ahwaa 'iilaa almuhit aydi hayyan li alan hudha ae|la hadin sa’a alshirae almuhit faqa∞t lah-n ocean of life : almuhit in yearning of love : hayat- qalb^

  

SHADEEARI (7 April  2018) Saat hatiku jeri Terasa gentar dalam bimbang Ada tangan yang memberi pasti Dalamnya ku selalu tenang Ada kala gelap hariku Di depan hanya ada kelabu Dalam pelukmu aku berlabuh Dan hatiku kembali syahdu Kemanapun aku menengok benang Kulihat hanya rinduku Kemana aku menjejak Jejakku selalu ada padamu Bahagiaku dalam laman Yakinku padamu cinta Bawa ku ke lautan membentang Dalam biduk berdua Benang : dunya

SHADEEARI (2018, mayu 2) qa∞lbi ae|ndama khaw_f alshae|ur bialkhawaf mutaqiβb hunak dhirae| yada muhadada fi dhalik 'ana dayimaan tahada hunak waqt_ kan yawamaya miβn 'amam hunak alr_mady faqa∞t fi einaq 'ana fi rasia warajae| qa∞lbiϫun yana 'aynama kunt 'anzur 'iilaa almaw_due 'araa faqa∞t shawqiβ 'aynama 'adhahab_ mawjudat dayimaan balansab’at lik sayaae|d li ameeqa fi qa∞lbi qa∞laqa∞ aleeqa huβbuβn maae| khadhani shamiβl fi almuhit fi alqarib wahdah life and living : anzur almawdue

SHADEEMANI (7 April  2018) Kau selalu terkenang Neela jauh melayang Bawa sauh rindu berlayar menjerat hasrat tak buyar Laman laut terbentang Tanpa riak gelombang Bawa bilik rinduku kembali pulang Tangan berpagutan Ikatan hati dieratkan Harapan hati ulang ditautkan Hati merindu Dalam padi biduk melaju Neela : kampung halaman yang jauh Sauh rindu : cinta Laman laut : kehidupan Bilik rindu : kekasih hati Padi : cinta Biduk (=bidukruwan) : rumah tangga

SHADEEMANI (2018, mayu 2) 'atadhakar dayimaan kan beydanaan al watan_ madheeun rasalataya marbut_ airbitha alra∞ghbat la tantahi 'abadana yasil almuhit alwasee bidun mawajat wata’muj 'ahdar shawqi 'iilaa al aziz albayt yada biad fi altawq yjb 'an qalabana rabitatan murtabitatan al'amal walhabu al wahida qu∞lb mushtaq_ fi alhabi naebir aleelam anchor of the heart : marbuta irbitha live forever in love : fi alhabi bir aleelam

SHADEEFAWADYARA (7 April 2018) Saat angin berdesir Ku tahu kau disitu Saat gelap datang Ku tahu kau memelukku Pernah ada masa Hanya ragu yang meraja Tanya hati menerawang Rindu hati penuh jurang Tapi kini sirnalah sudah Kuatku padamu Genggam erat aku Berlayar arungi lautan Pernah ada masa Hanya rasa yang bicara Hanya kenangan yang terbayang Hanya janji yang dikenang Saat biru hatiku kini Kutahu kau ada Kutahu kau ada Membuatnya bercahaya lagi

SHADEEFAWADYARA (2018, mayu 2) eindama alriyah hafif 'ana 'eelam 'an hunak eindama alzalam yahiluβ 'ana 'eelam 'an tueaniq_ni(a) lam(n) yakun hunak waqt_ faqat shaka mutaradiβd sa'al halima aiftaqad qa∞lb- mali' alwidyan lakun alan syrna dhahab 'ana qawiun fik_ aintiza li bi'iihkam fi al almuhit al'iibhrar lam(n) yakun hunak waqt­_ nakhat alhadith bialmaenaa faqat takhayalat aldhikriat tudhkar_maweed alwaheed faqat fi ka^lmara ana hazin jadaana 'ana 'eelam 'an mawjud 'ana 'eelam 'an mawjud yatawahaj maratan 'ukhraa saeid(saya)