I Bleed

It's been 4 day I passed in uncomfortable feeling. I was bleeding continuously. Can hardly sleep. But my guru insisted I not have to go to the doctor nor hospital. I soon recovered, he promised. And I did feel really starting to recover on this 4th day. In the sense of my bleeding had stopped, though my body still weak. I think I lost half the amount of blood in my body because of this.

In the first 3 day I really bleeding continuously. Looked like the blood non stop seep flow out. I really could not sleep. Maybe I could close my eyes for only 2 hour a day on and off. But finally my guru explained the cause today. That this situation of mine because of him too. He had to substitute switch my blood so that I could easily become myself after I knew who am I and really accept myself.

It seem this situation I experienced must experienced by people who learn to recognize himself and succeed in his efforts. That's why my guru told me not to see a doctor. I was desperate and resigned then. I so afraid to see blood such my bleeding. But I trust myguru. And I grateful that today I've felt more fresh and strong. It mean whatever happened to me, are over.

But my lack of blood made me have to replace it immediately. I chosen to rest a lot and eat much. Eat meat. I not a meat-lover. I rarely eat meat because my body not need meat that much, let alone red meat. But I must eat meat when I need a lot of energy or when my emotion are drained away. Either because I have to get angry or get great pressure in my job long time before.

My blood pressure must also be very low now. My normal blood pressure do low, only 90/60. So in my now circumstances the number could be rather frightening. I did experienced. Only 60/40. Wow ... .but I surprised I have not fainted yet at that time. But regarding that, I really not interested in checking my blood presure now. Better I eat much and sleep well.

Even so I still made verses and song. All day just lied down made me bored so I write a bit here and here in notes on my cell phone and I sing tone try to find it music, and…..done. An arya song. Maybe tomorrow I could explain what an arya song is. But .... as my surprised I have made 3 arya song, which I made 2 during this illness. These song are beautiful, ehm….but that in my opinion. 

I think this is it. My head still spinning if I write too long. See you.