My last writings
in this blog use English. This invited question from several people. What's
wrong with me now, why suddenly I so 'English'?
To be frankly there is no reason why. More just my way of
practicing speaking in English only. As I write more and more in English, the
easier I speak in English. And that's because of my relationship with some
friend who always speak English to me because they not speak Bahasa Indonesia.
And they also want to enjoy read my writings. So I figured that on this blog
let it start now in English. For me, for my friends, and for lot of people out
there who would probably understand better what I write when I write it in
English.
So it's not for haughty
or for special purpose. What do you think my purpose is ??
But, my English
also unusual. My oldest son now taught at the International School which use
the Cambridge curriculum, so use English as confer talk. But he complained
about my English. He said my English not true, either grammar or tenses. I
nodded. It is true if he said so if my English compared with English used today.
But still I answered, "But lovely, right ..?" My son was stunned heard
my answer. He tongue-tied for a moment while reading some of my writing.
Finally I told him to read also the old English literature. I not know if he done
yet.
Another friend
also commented, "... ..your English as a nineteenth-century English
nobleman". Heh ... .. he so true. I also surprised. I watched "Sense
And Sensibility" movie, I read the old literature like "Emma"
and "Pride And Prejudice", well .. indeed I think my English either
they are the same. I only feel by this way, a word would so much more lovely
and more elegant used than if it used now with the composition of the language
as it is known today.
Others commented,
"You've changed a lot now. You’re just like CEO ". And this one
really stunned me. But I dare say that I a system expert who had have experience
directly involved in running the company's operation, also often prepare other
informal activities. I dare say, "I a system expert". But inevitably,
the comment made me reread some of my last writings.
I'm not one who
always read my writing after it done. Many time because I not have time to read
again. Usually I write, published. Done. Or I write, I send. Done. Somewhile I
write, I save. Done. So I also feel a bit surprised to see the way I conveyed
and seen things now which wider and deeper. I guess that's because in the last
7 year I have not stopped constantly struggling with my own life in time I live
a monastic life. It seemed this experience deepen and sharpen my way of looking
at things.
I also now have
incredible friends so I became amazing too quickly. I very adaptive and always
curious, so right now it's like I in the right catalyst to develop. It made me
go very fast.
10 year ago I
never imagine I could produce nearly 100 title song, with a variety of genre
and language. I write songs in Bahasa Indonesia, English, Italian, Sanskrt, Chinese
and Arabic! It was impossible for me, for the sake. But true. I made my own
song, some time even finished less than 10 minute.
10 year ago I
also never imagined that I could dance Malay dance, Dayaknese dance, Balinese
dance, kathak dance (Indian), and all kind of social dances like tango, salsa,
waltz ... .could not pictured it out. Imposible!
But now I've become a dance instructor and produced some dances I've created
myself.
So, true I've
changed a lot in the last 7 year.
In the last few
day I've been writing every day one topic a day. You know why ? Because I on
the ground of 10 year never had chance to write like this. In my period
of learning, in my monastic life, I did wrote. But I only wrote my lesson. Not
my favorite one. Not with my way of writing. This is my way of writing. Like
this. Not too polite, but persuasive and very sharp.
Now that I have
my freedom again, this is what I want to do most. It seemed after almost 10
year of not writing, - ideas, pictures of feeling, hope, urge eagerness and
words clustered in my head waiting for time and opportunity to pour. It make me
very productive. If I could just write, maybe I write 24 hour a day. But I
still have to take care of my housewifery, still have to teach .. so I
contented if I could do one script a day.
In the past ... long
ago….in year around 2005-2006 I also like this. Write every day. And still had
time to paint, also explored to various places which attracted my attention. I tomboy
enough for exploring thing though I really fainthearted, contemptible and so on
and so forth --really not a typical of explorer. But still I do, with complete
preparation to keep me safe from injuries, keep me clean not got dirty, keep me
safe from unpleasant things that I could still estimate etc.
I not know how
long I would write intense like this. Maybe a month, three month, or I might able
to do it continuously on a regular basis. I have a dream to be a columnist in
the Guardian or Tribune Daily. I a bit embarrassed to think about it. It's been
long enough for this dream to be buried. I just remember yesterday, after I
wrote about being a consultant. I talked to my friend late that night and
remembered of my dream. Well ... .. I hope one day I could achieved.
But, I need to
practice to write again. There a time in the last 7 year I feel my mind
deadlocked, unable to think again. So writing marathon like this would be my
training to able to think again. Especially think analytically and try to
re-diligently do research once again. I actually trying to finish a paper, but
it delayed because my desire to write are so great right now. I hope I soon
have time to accomplished it.
So why use
English? Because of necessity. Because I like.
By the way one of
my friend only understand English, but speak Italian only to me. That's what allowed
me to make song in Italian as well. He helped correct the composition of the
language. And he also encouraged me to learn Italian to communicate easily with
him.
The things go
this way for the song in Arabic, or Chinese or any other language I not known
such as Sanskrt. I was helped by my friends. All verses or poetry meant to be
translated again I always write in English, - even song. Then they helped me
correct the translation in what language, so that the meaning remained the same
as I mean. You can see, this is where English become medium for me to
communicate with my friends.
I think I’ve been
answered now the question as written in the title of this writing. I hope no
one else would doubt me or questioned my motivation about it.
Ciaao
PS:
My Italian friend
very happy every time I write this greeting as a closing word. He said it is good
greeting, which would make me want to keep writing again because the meaning of
the greeting made me could meet my reader again. So once again; ciaao.
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