I Want To Paint !!

Today I just picked up my book 'Painting And Drawing' which I tarried out at a small printing little far from home. Since Pragyaa my oldest son had job in Balikpapan, it rather difficult for me to handle this book-binding thing. No one could drove me, not dare to walk alone. I have not traveled alone for too long. It seem that my trauma of 'walk alone' could not really disappear. So this book only I could take today. Though already finished some time.

This book itself is a compilation of painting and drawing I made since 2005 until 2017 ago. There are many. And I still have one canvas. Still waiting and seek feeling so mood to paint. I think I want to sight seeing first, so I could paint again. I need ammunition to fill my emotion and feeling for I could be satisfied painting afterward. It's been a while since I've been jaunt tour or just outing. Almost 10 year it seem. Wew .......

But I want to share the story of my three painting in particular.

First are self-portrait. This painting titled 'Me'. I made November 15, 2017 ago. And I made by the request of my guru. At that time he wanted me to be confident again and sure that my condition and situation and circumstances recovered, because there are time I felt I not able to create anything again included painting. I did his wished even though he coerced. But still the paint done. Looked like I just need to do it for I could 'go in' just like that, as usual. When this painting finished, I grateful that I can still do what I like. This painting became the end of my strict period of learning. Only that. 

The second painting is 'Sang Khara' which mean The Creator,  I made December 19, 2017 as a sign of my guru boon and blessing so I could live my life once again like an ordinary person. Only His symbol I paint. Although the canvas unsatisfactory, it was loose saggy and the gesso not smooth, but I could finished on that day too. I quite satisfied and rather surprised to see it done. Kind of something I familiar with, even though I paint by only follow my heart.

The third painting is my old painting I made November 5, 2006, - 'Semarang Old Town'. There was an article about the old city of Semarang (Middle Java) in National Geographic Indonesia magazine. I really like one of the pictures there, which I poured into this painting. I just surprised why my painting style here are so different. But my guru explained the spirituality of my painting as I collected my paintings to be stored in my Painting And Drawing book. Finally I could appreciate this painting same as my other paintings. At that moment I also saw that I had always painted very spiritual thing in every of my painting. That's why my guru really forced me to stored all my paintings and drawings in one book.

There are 48 painting and drawing contained in this compilation. Outside that I painted on glass. Outside the sketch I sometime made for various purposes. Ah ... there are some sketch I still keep, here it is, for documentation only.
 

From some of these sketch, I made as illustration of my storybook children. Many I made at the request of my guru. There I made because at that time I wanted to make a shirt that printed text about good things in life with the style and language of stripling juvenile. Desires that have not materialized until now. I still keep few sketches for it, because I also want to make hat and mug too that printed message 'funny cute but deep' on it. I mean .. the sentence are mild but slang typical of young people but the meaning still deep for who could see. That’s what I mean with 'funny cute but deep'.

I hope that my wish could come true and ...... I just want to paint again.

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